While it seems like every other state in the country sells beer and wine in their grocery stores, Pennsylvania’s really antiquated laws concerning alcohol and its state-owned monopoly on liquor sales mean that PA grocers can’t. Even though you still need to go to a “state store” to buy a bottle of whiskey and a separate beer distributor to buy a case of beer, some Pennsylvania grocery stores now feature computerized “wine vending machines”. This may sound remarkably convenient, but don’t go thinking you can just put in a ten dollar bill, press D7, and have a bottle of Merlot to drop out of the bottom like a can of Sprite. The PLCB (Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board) doesn’t want it to be that convenient.

First of all, it is important to mention that not all grocery stores have these machines. In fact, hardly any of them do. If you do eventually encounter one, you’ll likely be surprised when you see the size of the contraption. Imagine four commercial refrigerator-sized cabinets with glass doors in a row, plus a kiosk and three or so large, high definition monitors perched on top of the whole thing. After you have scrolled through the touchscreen catalog of wines available and made your selection, you are then asked for your driver’s license or state-issued ID. When I say you’re asked, you are asked by a booming pre-recorded voice that seems to come from above or behind the machine, in addition to the on-screen written instructions.